Climate Change a Hoax After All - Who Knew?
We’re sorry. What more can we say?
It was just revealed that so-called climate change actually is a hoax, perpetrated by that fiend Al Gore.
Numerous luminaries in the scientific community owned up with their own mea culpas when the gigantic ruse was revealed on this day, April 1, 2009.
With the exception of a few visionaries, virtually every scientist on Earth was taken in by the former Vice President’s compelling power point presentation. The humiliation was palpable.
“I am deeply ashamed for having unwittingly perpetuated such a massive fraud on the governments of the world,” said Dr. Rajendra Pachauri, Chair of the IPCC, calling the grand climate hoax a “cunning deception spanning decades”.
“I have to admit, Al got me good,” said NASA’s Dr. James Hansen as he packed up his personal belongings at his office at the Goddard Institute for Space Studies in New York. “Despite my decades of experience in climate modeling and satellite meteorology, I would just get mesmerized whenever Gore started showing me all those fancy charts and tables. The man is a real Svengali.”
In another stunning development, a clearly chagrinned Nobel Committee revoked the peace prize granted to Gore and the IPCC in 2007, and instead honored the signatories of the Oregon Petition whose remarkable insights eclipsed that of the entire scientific community.
Reached for comment, Al Gore was clearly unrepentant of his heinous acts: “As long as I can remember, my only goal in life has been to destroy free-market capitalism and replace it with global totalitarian socialism. But it seemed that traditional methods, such as guerrilla warfare, were proving unsuccessful. Then, one day in 1988, as I was strolling through the halls of my giant mansion, it hit me: carbon dioxide.”
For a full report of these stunning developments, see this article in the Christian Science Monitor.
On behalf of Desmog Blog and myself, I extend our heartfelt apologies to our readers and of course those visionary skeptics who, as it turns out, were right all along.
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As a qualified gynecologist, it has always been obvious to me that AGW was rubbish. Myself and other climate experts, (retired civil engineers, personal trainers), are at last vindicated in our campaign for truth against those f*cking hippies at GISS and Hadley. Cosmic water vapour and the fact that grapes were once grown on Mars, Titan AND Venus were just 'inconvenient truths' for these crusties.
Now I can sell my Smart car and buy that Hummer I've been covetting. The downside, of course, is that now I owe Rob an apology.
Fern
Ah Fern, thank you for making me laugh today that was pretty awesome. :)
Careful putting your tongue in you cheek....it's likely to get bitten.
Temps are dropping as the sun takes a break.
So many climate change denier blogs lit up after reading this.
hard to believe that world renowned climate scientists pinchauri and gore could have been fooled. pinchauri schooled at the famous climate haven the indian railways institute.
Happy Fossil Fools Day everyone!
Love the cuddly Polar bear icon of climate change and unfortunately threatened with extinction as the ice melts.But wait a second what's this? A Polar bear fossil over 100,000 years old? The significance of this is that it shows that Polar Bears survived the Eemian Interglacial when temperatures were "much warmer" than present (and without the help of S.U.V.s) (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7132220.stm).
And what about Global sea ice? Bang on average (http://arctic.atmos.uiuc.edu/cryosphere/) just the same as it was in 1980.
Phlogiston discvovers winter!
Too bad (for Phlogiston) that it is not winter ice extent that matters.
I wet myself reading the latest posting from Surrealclimate (http://www.realclimate.org/index.php/archives/2009/04/advocacy-vs-science/)
“The advocate will pick up any piece of apparently useful data and without doing any analysis, decide that their pet theory perfectly explains any anomaly without consideration of any alternative explanations. Their conclusion is always that their original theory is correct.
The scientist will look at all possibilities and revise their thinking based on a thorough assessment of all issues - data quality, model quality and appropriateness of the comparison. Their conclusion follows from the analysis whatever it points to.”
I never realised that Gavin had a sense of humour.
Actually the hypocrisy is nauseating. This coming from a Man(n) who has the gall to defend the Hockey Stick!
That thread at Realclimate is about the thread at wattswrongwithwatt that you so blatantly cut and pasted and posted as "Ian, here we are proof (sic)..Submitted by Phlogiston on Tue, 2009-03-31 07:51” on the “Reporters Miss the Boat (Again)…” thread.
At the time I did not realize that the original post at WWWW was by Lindzen (in support of his false claims on the non-existent IRIS effect) since I rarely venture in that cesspit of scientific dishonesty.
You use the very same tactics; you make an outlandish claim then present a long list of references from honest scientists to back up your claims. However, when the references are reviewed it turns out that they do not support your claims at all. You have done this on several threads and quite a few posts. That is completely dishonest behaviour and the administrators of this blog should remove all such deliberate attempts to confuse the readers.
Unfortunately, when I call you on your dishonesty, it is me that gets criticized and you are allowed to continue with your dishonest tactics.
You claim to be a scientist with a PhD from “one of the top 3 universities in the world”. That is a claim that I just cannot believe when I look at how you insult science and scientists.
Why such a small font Ian? Got something to hide?
JIm, please enlighten me why "that it is not winter ice extent that matters"?
Just what "Winter" ice are you referring too? That in the Northern Hemisphere, or that in the Southern?
Did you even know that when it is "Winter" in the Northern Hemisphere it is "Summer" in the Southern (and vice-versa)?
But wait.. too bad its just April fools joke! For a moment there I really felt happy with the possibily of global warming being a hoax.
-Mike Enos