spoof

Republican Presidential Candidates’ Climate Views Spoofed In ‘The Catholic Apprentice’ Video

In the Bible, Jesus famously told his disciples that “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

Can you even imagine what Jesus would say about rich men who want to hold the highest office in the land while flat out denying the reality of a crisis as urgent as climate change?

On the eve of Pope Francis’ visit to the US, social justice group SumOfUs.org released a video satirizing the climate views of the Catholics hoping to become the Republican presidential candidate in 2016 — all of whom espouse views sharply at odds with those of the Pope, the leader of the Catholic church.

S&P Downgrades Planet Earth, Citing Unbalanced Carbon Budget, Reckless Political Debates and Role of “Deniers”

help!

Washington, D.C.—In a move that came as a shock both in this city and throughout the planet on which it is located, Standard & Poor’s late Monday downgraded Earth from its unique HHH rating—the only one in the galaxy—to HH+.

The coveted HHH rating—meaning, “extremely habitable”—has become indefensible, the ratings agency said, due to continuing failures to balance the atmospheric carbon budget and an increasingly toxic political debate that renders better policies unlikely any time soon. 

Atmospheric carbon inputs continue to outweigh carbon outputs (or sinks), leading to a growing and unsustainable carbon ‘surplus,’” wrote S&P. “Unlike fiscal surpluses, this surplus is very dangerous and is already triggering rising temperatures, heat waves, droughts, and extreme weather patterns.”

Under the new HH+ rating, the Earth is still considered “highly habitable” for humans. However, S&P also changed the planet’s outlook to “negative,” suggesting the possibility of further downgrades. 

Critics Cite Dearth of Spaceships

Criticism came fast and furious.

Subscribe to spoof