Five Commandments, Stephen Harper style

“Go-for-it” Prime Minister Stephen Harper told Commonwealth leaders on the weekend that Canada won't bind itself to climate regulation until the poorest and most destitute countries on the planet sign up first.

Imagining how liberating it might be to apply this policy position to traditional areas of government, here are five updated commandments that we might expect soon from Canada's me-last Prime Minister, Stephen Harper.

1. Steal in good conscience until the last, most-wretched and disenfranchised street person agrees to stop stealing first.

2. Kill at will until you get a sworn statement from Osama bin Laden, Moqtada as-Sadr and the U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff saying that they have switched, irrevocably and for all time, to the path of peace.

3. Lie outrageously until Bill Clinton tells the whole story about the dress, Senator Larry Craig comes clean on what really happens in airport men's rooms and former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney fesses up about the cash payments from international influence peddler Karl-Heinz Schreiber.

4. Covet they neighbor's house until the global real estate industry stops advertising.

5. Fornicate frequently, and with whomever you choose, until the global dictates of love, lust and human nature are repealed.

But why stop there? Take off that helmet. Unstrap that seatbelt. Drive when you're drunk. In short, from now on, the mission statement of all Harper-led Canadians can be:

“Hey, everybody else is doin' it.”

If only adolescence had been this much fun …

If you enjoyed this post, please consider voting for it on by clicking here. 


It’s called leading from behind. See, we can encourage a country like Bangladesh to contribute foreign aid first to set a low standard, and then if we beat that standard we can go on TV and claim to be doing more than our part.

A New Zealand think tank recently released a report on AGW and NZ’s response entitled “We’re Right Behind You”, suggesting NZ take up a “fast follower” role, if I remember the term correctly. Irony is apparently dead.


The hypocrisy of our western nations that pretend to offer world leadership when it suits them, but wimp out completely on the real issues.. We are being rapidly left behind - even China has a massive renewable energy program, but we can’t even pretend to want to tackle the climate.

I guess we can finally kiss the ideal of Canada functioning as a model power in global affairs goodbye. It is disappointing, to say the least, that such a clear lack of forethought has gone into this latest policy position.

It is truly disparaging that our countries leader is pandering to the lowest common denominator, and short term business interests, instead proving his leadership abilities by embracing the risks of climate change, as well as concerns for prosperous economic development. This is not a situation where we must choose between prosperity or conservation, but ignorance and responsibility.

A shame as well in that it gives conservatives a bad name. He’s not a true conservative of course. He’s a corporatist. Real conservatives acknowledge science and seek to let the market do what it does well under the right conditions – solve problems. So price emissions and stop giving tax breaks to big oil. Stop promoting any technology as an answer as Harper does with nuclear power. That’s not government’s job in a Conservative world. Instead actually show faith in what you claim to believe: the power of markets to respond to price signals. And by the way, feel free to also have faith in Canadians and Canada. I mean we’ll do well in a world that’s less dependent on oil too, eh?!